Problem Motivating Yourself?

Dr. Carlea Dries says she often hears people complain, “I just don’t understand why I have such a hard time motivating myself. It’s really hard to get going when your motivation is low.” Dries adds that people often make such comments without realizing it is usually only in a given area that they don’t have sufficient motivation. “I see people all the time who work hard at their job, pay their bills, and take care of their home and kids, but who totally lack the motivation to take on a healthy activity, like exercise routinely, eat healthy, cut down on alcohol consumption, or quit smoking. They don’t see it, but their problem is not a general lack of willpower, but poor motivation only for particular actions in certain situations. Once they accept this fact, they are able to identify specific situations and specific actions they need to take in those situations. Once they do that—and get off the self-critical “I am not able to motivate myself” train—it’s easier to devise a plan of action because they have a target to attack.”

Next, Dries says, “They need to coordinate their actions with their values by confronting thoughts that are inconsistent with their actions: You put off blood work (an action) even though you say, ‘I care about my health’ (your value); you put off buying a treadmill for the basement (an action) even though you say, ‘I want to get in shape’ (your value); you put off spending more time with your kids and spouse (an action), even though you say,  ‘I love and need my family’ (your value).”

Do you have a problem with motivating yourself? To follow Dries’ advice, you need to identify specific situations that bring on your low motivation, and then choose specific actions you can take for those situations. You must choose actions that you can coordinate with your values. Once you engage in those constructive actions, they will become a part of your routine, automatic, and it won’t take much effort to maintain them. Once again, the key is to identify problem situations. Like most people, you probably have no real understanding of the specific situations in your life that tend to elicit your problem actions. List those situations. Then you can deal with them better.