As we noted last week, anger is an important emotion to manage and channel because it can be dangerous to self when bottled up or released, but constructive when funneled into positive energy. For instance, in these situations, should you withdraw, or confront your anger more constructively: a co-worker made you angry and you want to tell him to go to hell; a misbehaving child made you angry and you want to smack him. Ask yourself these questions: When I want to lash out in anger am I simply trying to get rid of anger so I don’t have to deal with it? Am I trying to make myself feel better in the short run, but really only teaching myself to resolve problems by lashing out? Am I really only angry at myself for making a mistake and taking my flub out on others? These questions may help you decide that it would be better for you to seek more constructive solutions to the problem. For instance, it might be better for your social interactions when you know how to transform your anger into actions like assertiveness, determination, competitiveness, working harder to achieve a goal, or persisting even when confronted with hurdles. Or, instead of aggressive actions toward others, alternatives like walking, running, yoga, and weightlifting might also be better for you. These activities can produce natural endorphin highs, a sense of personal control and pride, distraction from what is bothering you, and better health. They are also more appropriate than convenient and simple “middle-finger” actions that, at best, are childish, waste energy, and increase the likelihood of violence.
Constructive ways of converting anger into productive actions can also include activities like writing, painting, hanging out with friends, reading, and many others. Any action that is positively distracting and can buy you time to calm down and reset, is valuable in directing a mature response. Doing so helps keep you away from acting impulsively and inappropriately, which becomes much more likely when you are tired, under the influence of drugs and alcohol, or have not slept well. As for alcohol, the irony is that most people use this substance to relax and escape temporarily. However, this coping style can lead to self-sabotage with aggression or some other acting-out behavior that damages relationships, causes employment problems, and increases stress levels by making the situation worse. Bottom line? When angry, resist impulses to lash out aggressively, and seek constructive ways to cope with it.
Psychology and Stress 