Problem Solving

A major obstacle to effective coping with stress is being unable to solve problems. Many people end up adding to their stress levels by loading themselves up with problems that flood them with anxiety. They then focus their energies on self, placing their interests above those of others. Their approach to this situation is usually some variation of denial, avoidance, social withdrawal from and rejection of others—any one of which only serves to worsen things through fear of abandonment, despair, frustration, and loneliness.

What is needed are more fundamental and positive problem-solving approaches like the following: (1) Communication with others. Victims need to understand that what seems to be criticism and rejection directed at them does not put the blame for their issues on them; the critics also have issues, and they often project their issues onto the victim. (2) Communication fosters Empathy. There is nothing more uplifting for one suffering from mental health issues than realizing that others have the same problems and need understanding, too. The development of empathy is essential to healthy coping with stress. (3) Empathy encourages Service to Others, which has enormous healing properties for the helper. Few scenes are more tragic than a lonely, confused, dejected person of any age locked onto their computer screen desperately seeking happiness and validity for being, but finding instead “advice” that leads them further into a black hole of despondency, misery, and hopelessness. Service to others allows them to break from this technological spell of deprivation, get “outside” of themselves, and act to help others in need. (4) Service actions encourage the helper to discover value in self-sacrifice, selflessness, and philanthropy. What follows is a discovery of one’s values and purpose in life. Effective coping cannot continue without a set of values to guide one’s actions; values give purpose and meaning to those actions. (5) What follows from values is the emergence of contentment, satisfaction, self-discovery, and happiness at one’s place in life. Happiness cannot be sought; it materializes from values-laden actions.

Imagine—it all starts with communication.