Scottie Davis Winslow is VP of Optum Consulting. In a recent newspaper column she wonders how best to achieve that balance between the demands of the workplace and the obligations of everyday life outside the workplace. Those obligations could be as simple as grocery shopping and picking up the cleaning, or more involved like finding time to be with spouse or children and caring for elderly parents. No matter what the obligation, when work interferes with everyday life we can suffer significant stress. How should we handle it?

Identify your goals and values and make sure family, friends, or anyone depending on you understand where you’re coming from.

Communicate the various parts of your life, your priorities, and seek others’ help in achieving them to everyone’s satisfaction. For instance, if your kids understand and accept that you are not available all the time for them, they will be willing to work with you to find that quality time with them on a regular basis.

Do not get into the perpetual “apology” mode.

Constantly monitor and adjust your daily priorities to meet unexpected situations. Communicate your efforts to others.

Include yourself in your priorities. Ignoring your physical and mental well-being to serve others will self-destruct in the long run.

Winslow makes offers some useful and proactive suggestions. The first one is especially important. We often forget that effective coping requires us to have standards, values, and a moral compass to provide us with a framework for our actions.

For an additional piece of reassurance to working moms, let’s not forget one other important thing; Women who work are often better off psychologically and physically than women who don’t. We should not take that statement as criticism of stay-at-home moms. Many such moms are perfectly happy, and some working moms are miserable.

The problem is that the media often casts the working mom in a pressure-cooker environment, and someone who is just too tired at the end of the day to devote quality time to her family and other domestic issues. This is an unfair characterization that just puts needless pressure on many women when they run across it.

There are some interesting research findings in this area. Compared to non-working women, working women show lower cholesterol levels; have a lower incidence of general illness; are less depressed; say their jobs help serve as an outlet for the stresses of home and childrearing.

What these findings suggest is that working moms have no need to fear playing multiple roles in their life. Comfort level is the key. In fact, heading home on Friday for a weekend with the toddlers after a particularly tough week can be very pleasant and invigorating; by the same token, heading to work on Monday after a weekend of dealing with diapers, tantrums, and crying might be equally pleasant and invigorating!


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