Psychology and Stress

            Disciplining a child without the use of physical punishment is a preferable parental style these days. As society moves more and more to conservative practices, however, it’s possible that harsh childrearing techniques, including spanking, may return. Most people do not want to see a return to childrearing practices that deny decades of sound psychological research into the cognitive, emotional, and social development of children. That research shows that physical punishment is ineffective in changing behavior, potentially contributes to childhood trauma, and can have adverse consequences that extend into adulthood.  Still, there are some disturbing trends: reputable media sources are reporting an increasing trend of allowing corporal punishment in schools. Some school districts have been designing policies that – with written parental permission – allow teachers to “paddle” children. Such a policy begs the question: what kind of parent would permit a teacher to inflict pain on their child?

If you are like most parents, and believe that physical punishment is inappropriate with kids, and just teaches them that violence is the best way to deal with conflict, here are some steps to follow to help you adopt a child-punishment style that avoids physical actions: (1) Accept that you are at times tempted to lash out physically; that is normal. In other words, you are not a robot habitually in a steady state. (2) Identify situations that make you want to engage in physical punishment. Examine and evaluate those elements and your reactions so you can consider alternative ways of reacting. It may be a particular time of day; or when running errands in the car with the kids in the back seat; or when the kids first return from school wound up higher than a kite ready to release energy. Being aware of the situations where you are more likely react impulsively and lose control will make it easier for you to manage your emotions appropriately. (3) Remember that you are the one who controls rewards and privileges. (4) Be consistent in how you apply that control, and practice exercising it without physical punishment. (5) Use positive methods like approval and rewards to control your child’s behavior. (6) If you are habitually using physical punishment against a child, seek professional help because relying on physical punishment will likely escalate into child abuse.  

High-functioning depression is a popular everyday conversational phrase used to describe a level of depression that doesn’t interfere with maintaining daily life activities. Depressed people described as high-functioning go to work, take care of their families, and participate in social activities; but they also experience distress and unhappiness in their lives. Outwardly, they look productive and OK, but inside they are faced with sadness and worry. Two cornerstones appear to be (1) feeling empty, with the blues; (2) finding little or no enjoyment or fulfillment in activities that used to be pleasurable and satisfying. Other common symptoms include feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, or worthlessness, plus irritability, anxiety, social withdrawal, fatigue, and trouble focusing on tasks.

High-functioning depression is not a formal professional term, and you won’t find it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). You will, however, find a condition in the DSM that sounds a lot like high-functioning depression: Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD)—also known as Dysthymia. Symptoms include sadness, emptiness, and feeling down; loss of interest in daily activities; fatigue; low self-esteem and self-criticism; difficulty focusing and making decisions; irritable and impatient; social avoidance; appetite and sleep problems. Sound familiar? PDD sufferers are described as “silent sufferers,” and like depressed folks described as high functioning, PDD victims go to work or school, care for loved ones if necessary, and generally function day-to-day. But they have this gnawing feeling that prevents them from enjoying life like others seem to do.

Both high-functioning depression and PDD have strong cognitive components, typified by a way of perceiving and thinking about life events in a negative way. When you think negative thoughts, especially about yourself, you are going to feel rotten—you are going to avoid challenges and become more likely to add to your depression. Negative thoughts compromise positive actions, and without positive actions in your life you will never feel fully satisfied and productive.

Both PDD and high-functioning depression generate avoidance behaviors. Sufferers develop long-standing actions to avoid facing challenges and stressors. Unfortunately, these are the very stressors they must learn to confront. As a result, they get caught in a vicious cycle of avoidant action patterns that are difficult to exit, and often resistant to anti-depressant medications. The depression is accompanied by actions that rob them of energy, motivation, and positive attitudes needed to break free of the avoidance vicious cycle. As a result, the depression creates problems in many areas, such as social interactions, concentration and focus, alcohol/drug issues, etc.

A term like high-functioning depression is kind of redundant when you think about it. Why do we need it if it’s so similar to PDD? The answer to that question should be obvious: If you’re tormented by symptoms of mild depression, what would you like to say to a friend or relative: “I’m a high-functioning depressed person,” or, “I have Persistent Depressive Disorder?” “High-functioning” vs. “Disorder.” There is a lot of secondary gain to be had from using the former term, especially if someone says, “Well, at least you’re not mentally ill!”

The coping lesson here is clear: If you have the symptoms of high-functioning depression, you need to restructure your thinking and actions concerning your life, and to stop relying on avoidance patterns of action when you are faced with challenges. Describing yourself as high-functioning is only giving you another avoidance card to play: “Sure, I’m down and blue, but at least I’m not bipolar or have major depression. I have my high-functioning qualities going for me.” That sort of avoidance thinking puts you on a spiral road that takes you in only one direction: farther down. In the context of our AAHE coping model—Acceptance, Accountability, Humility, Empathy—your first task is to accept the reality that carrying baggage loaded with low self-esteem, no enjoyment in previously-enjoyable activities, and empty and worthless feelings, is not at all high-functioning.

In the 1970s and 80s, a controversy developed in clinical psychology: When memories of early childhood sexual abuse are recovered during counseling, are those memories reliable? If not, that could mean they were somehow planted during the therapy sessions. This issue was much more than academic speculation about how memory works, and what was happening during counseling. Many women undergoing counseling claimed to have recovered repressed memories of sexual abuse during therapy. They proceeded to accuse a family member of ruining their lives, and often they took the accused to court to seek damages.

Consider this scenario: Fran is in counseling. She’s 39, married, and has a couple of kids, ages 12 and 14. She feels unhappy now and then, and has some bouts of anxiety that she just can’t explain. She doesn’t get along well with either of her parents, who live 1,100 miles away. She is fairly satisfied with her job, and things are pretty stable in the marriage, although she feels her husband wants to play golf and hang out with his buddies more than with her. Fran realizes many of her difficulties are things she can work to change, and she decides to see a counselor to get some insight into her problems.

The counseling is going along pretty well. Then, during her fourth session, her therapist asks, “This discomfort with your parents—what do you remember about your childhood? How about your father? Do you remember any specific discomfort you had with him when you were young, say around 5 or 6? Do you recall any episodes where, maybe, he behaved inappropriately toward you—maybe touched you the wrong way, or got you all confused because of the way he treated you?”

Fran responds adamantly, “If you’re asking did my father sexually abuse me in some way, the answer is most definitely no. No way! I have no memory of anything like that, nor do I even remotely believe that such things ever happened.”

The counselor replies, “That’s interesting. Often, when clients have no memory of anything inappropriate between them and a parent, it indicates that something indeed did happen. But the memory is so unpleasant it has been repressed, removed from consciousness. And you’re so sure—the intensity of your response can suggest that some repressive blocks are at work.”

 “You mean to tell me that because I can’t remember my father abused me suggests he did?”

“That’s often the case,” the therapist replies. “I think we should at least entertain the possibility and delve more deeply into some of your memories. You might be surprised at what we uncover.”

That week Fran finds herself thinking more and more about some of her childhood memories and wondering, “Hmmm, did he go over the line and I just put it out of my head? Is it possible he’s responsible for my problems?”

Do you find this whole scenario preposterous? You should. Unfortunately, 40 to 50 years ago there were therapists who tried to link psychological conflicts in adults to sexual abuse by a parent when they (the clients) were children, but had no memory of the abuse. Suggestible clients often “bought into” seeing their problems as resulting from parental sexual abuse. (We should note that such therapist behavior was not typical, and is considered unethical by the psychology profession.)

Bought into it? How could this happen? Well, how is it that cult members develop unquestioned allegiance to their leader, or citizens become blindly dependent on an autocratic leader? One answer is that those who are adrift psychologically are vulnerable to messages that comfort them, whether the messages are true or not. In counseling, a lot of psychological mental machinery can be set in motion that can encourage clients to accept interpretations offered by the therapist. Once the possibility of childhood sexual abuse is suggested, the mental seed is planted and a few clients might find themselves thinking, “Hmmm. Maybe there’s something to this. Maybe dad/mom did cross the line. One thing for sure, if it’s true and I confront them, I’ll be a lot better off!”

Claims of recovered memories during counseling led to a lot of research on how memory works. Memories are not like digital files stored on a DVD; memories are more like a river bottom that constantly shifts and changes in response to variations in river currents. Every time you have a new experience, earlier memories can be influenced and modified to fall into line with the new experience. Thus, when you are an adult, your childhood memories are not very accurate.

Research has also shown that false memories of childhood events can be implanted! It appears that about 25% of people are suggestible enough that they can be made to incorporate a non-existent childhood event—getting lost in a store when four-years old, being hospitalized overnight for a high fever, getting too rambunctious at a relative’s wedding and knocking over a table—into their memories and actually come to believe that the event truly happened. Findings like these should make us all pause when we reflect on the validity of our childhood memories.

When an adult suddenly remembers, “Yes, it’s all coming back to me now! I was abused as a child,” we should raise the red flag and be cautious, especially if the memory recovery took place during formal counseling. There are too many factors that could lead the person to accept the memory as real. Under the influence of a therapist, the person could be grasping at straws to gain some closure.

Susan (age 51) is a veteran of counseling, and her comments put things in perspective: “I was sexually abused as a child by a male family member when I was 6, but I sure as hell never forgot it. I’ve heard about this recovered memory stuff but I don’t buy it at all. Anyone who had my experience will never forget it. Sure, like me, they might not tell anyone about it, but if they hide it, they’ll probably end up just as screwed up as I was. I spent decades not only filled with guilt that the whole thing was my fault, but I also became pretty good at covering up the guilt by developing a sense of entitlement: ‘Hey, folks, I was abused so treat me gently; I’m damaged goods and I deserve your sympathy and pity.’ It took me a long time and many hours of therapy to come to the conclusion that the world’s corners were not going to be padded for me, and that I had to take charge of my life.”            

“The world’s corners are not padded for me.” If everyone with coping problems accepted that statement, they would be better able to take charge of their lives. It’s not always about you.

Another dark night? Eyes fixed on that glowing screen as you dig into the internet looking for something, anything, that will give your life meaning? You probably think you have found it, but you haven’t. That screen is entertaining, informative, and at times socially invigorating with friends; but it’s also full of evil, fake stuff, especially the stuff that talks about your mind and seeks to take control of you.

Anjani is a high-school senior who lives in an area where—like many other areas around the country—the local school board, parents, and politicians are dictating educational policies without providing for input from teachers and students. Examples would be banning certain books from the high-school library, what courses should be offered by the school, and even deciding what teachers are allowed to say in the classroom. In a letter to the local newspaper, Anjani writes about “an alarming trend of academic censorship and a lack of student representation” that precludes input from students. Anjani says that students must “express their concerns, unite, and actively participate in discussions on educational policies. The objective is clear: Students must play a central role in shaping their academic journey.”

A basic tenet of psychology is that when you see yourself engaging in an activity, you incorporate that activity, and its accompanying values, into your self-concept. Read that opening paragraph again. When you see yourself isolated, alone, full of despair and self-criticism (“I’m such a loser.”), and accept all that fake internet stuff, you define your self-concept in those ways. On the other hand, if you act like Anjani—when you interact with real others, and do so with purpose and meaning—you will endow your self-concept with commitment and worth; you will arm yourself to cope successfully with the stressors and challenges that face you.

Keep that fundamental principle in mind next time you struggle with yourself. Satisfaction and personal discovery are found in face-to-face interaction with others. Not with everyone, of course. There are those out there who would use you and dominate you to compensate for their own insecurities. That is why you must seek out those who can be trusted, others like you who are looking for genuine, honest, and honorable interactions. Find them in your daily activities, your real face-to-face experiences, and pursue with them goals endowed with purpose and commitment. Forgo the false images on your computer screen. Your smart devices may show you the science of how images appear on the screen, but they won’t show you how to critically evaluate the portrayals you see; they won’t show you how to navigate through life’s challenges. You are accountable for choosing productive life paths.

We noted last week that a major source of stress is when our beliefs are not consistent with our actions. Justin is a first-year college student, midway through his first semester, and he is finding himself confronted with all sorts of information—both in and out of class—that contradict some of the “facts” he was raised to accept: Black people are intellectually inferior to Whites, lazy, and lacking in ambition; gays are indecent degenerates, morally corrupt sinners who seek to undermine America’s virtue; women are a threat to men in the workplace, and need to be kept out of positions of authority. As the semester progressed, Justin’s social circle expanded, and some of his courses exposed him to new ideas and perspectives. As a result, he was stressed to discover that many of his beliefs just did not stand up to the reality of his experiences. At first, he discounted his college experiences as exceptions to the real world; his thinking involved denial, selective perception, and distorting the reality around him. But slowly, he began to consider another alternative to resolve the mental inconsistencies and discomfort he was feeling: “Maybe my beliefs about these groups are wrong.”

It’s interesting to note that when confronted with troublesome contradictions like Justin experienced, the last thing most people do to resolve their mental anguish is to change their beliefs. When you think about it, that makes some sense. When coping requires you to change your beliefs, the first step in the process is looking squarely at those beliefs and asking yourself, “Am I avoiding something? Am I afraid of something that makes me hold onto these beliefs?” Tackling such questions can be tough. Rodney was an 18-year-old who believed that all Mormon men had multiple wives, only one of whom they made public. The rest were hidden away. Rodney’s father taught him this “fact,” and Rodney’s self-esteem was based on praise and acceptance from his father. He had a mostly unconscious fear of offending his father and suffering rejection, which would plunge him into anxiety about being abandoned. Psychologically, he could not reject his father’s beliefs.

Rachel, a 35-year-old single woman, avoided romantic commitment like the plague. At a deep mental level, Rachel feared she would be sexually promiscuous like her mother, who was a prostitute throughout Rachel’s childhood. Rachel believed and feared that romantic involvement would lead to promiscuity, and expose to herself and others that she had no moral values. Only complete avoidance of emotional commitment could keep her fears hidden.

Carol, a 19-year-old college student suffered intense test anxiety. Rather than face this truth realistically, she was able to convince her school’s Learning Skills Center that she needed special arrangements in her courses for taking tests. She was a solid B student, but she was tormented with the belief that she was a “dumb, incompetent, loser” who couldn’t face a challenge without special help.

Rodney and Rachel required professional counseling to be able to accept the reality of their core fears. Over time they were able to consider alternative beliefs and actions that enabled them to cope with their anxiety in more realistic fashion. Carol was more aware of her core fear, and she was able to work with a college counselor for alternative ways—notably better study practices—to confront the anxiety.

When it comes to dealing with stress, no matter what beliefs we’re talking about, when they are unrealistic, illogical, inconsistent, and contradictory—and your actions perpetuate those beliefs—you should attack those beliefs critically and work at discarding them in favor of alternatives. Discuss your choices with a trusted friend, advisor, or professional counselor. Finally, when you choose new actions consistent with more realistic beliefs, make sure you have a reliable social support network. Coping with stress is seldom accomplished alone.

 Why does an abused woman stay with her abuser, when she believes he could actually kill her? Why does the bullied kid suck up to the bully and seek to join his gang, when he believes that the bully wants to dominate and harm him? Why does a man waste away in a dead-end job instead of looking for another position, when he believes that his current job is damaging his future and his self-esteem? Why does a father passively ask the psychiatrist when the anti-depressant for his 17-year old daughter will “kick in” so she will become normal again, when he really doesn’t believe in what he calls “shrink medicine”? Why do parents hover over children and protect them from failure, when they believe that kids should learn how to stand up own their own?

The human mind strives for consistency and harmony. Your mind doesn’t like disharmony resulting from contradictory beliefs and actions; such contradictions produce frustration, discomfort, and especially fear, all of which motivate you to resolve the incongruities so you can hold onto your beliefs. Inconsistency and disharmony are usually resolved through actions like denial, selective perception, or distorting the reality around you.

  In each of the examples above we can argue that the mental dissonance and discomfort aroused by inappropriate actions—behaviors inconsistent with beliefs—is based on fear. That is, the abused woman and bullied kid fear retaliation unless they stay close to the “enemy”; the job hunt brings fear of rejection; the dad and the helicopter parents fear they will be seen as parental failures if their kids fail. Fear, fear, fear—in each case it drives self-censorship and produces self-damaging and irrational behavior.

When it comes to dealing with stress, there is a clear message here: No matter what beliefs we’re talking about, when they are illogical and contradictory with your actions, you should challenge either your beliefs or your actions, and consider discarding or modifying them. The problem is, you don’t want to face the inconsistency because you fear the consequences with respect to how you judge yourself. Fear makes it difficult to take a hard and honest look in the mirror, and decide that perhaps you made the wrong decision, or your belief is faulty. Ego gets in the way.

If you want to cope with stress more effectively, you must be vigilant and willing to face the fears that can lead you to reality distortion and irrational thinking. You simply cannot cope effectively if your mind is engaged in distorting reality to maintain misguided beliefs or to justify inappropriate actions. That house of cards will eventually fall because it is based on avoidance and fear.

I was talking with someone recently who has worked in the Student Life office of a university for the past 20 years. She said, “It’s amazing how students have changed over the past 20 years when it comes to their sense of responsibility. Nothing seems to be their fault; there’s always an excuse. Just in the past few months, a student on work studies was caught on tape stealing money out of the cafeteria register. Her excuse? ‘I was planning on paying it back. I really needed the money for a textbook.’ Another student was drunk and unruly outside a bar, and punched a police officer who was trying to calm him down. His excuse? ‘I was drunk.’ Another student attacked a girl at a party, pushing her into a table. She hit her head and had to be hospitalized with a severe concussion. The attacker’s excuse? ‘She was hitting on my boyfriend.’ It’s unbelievable. And even worse, the parents defended their kids. It used to be me and the parents against the misbehaving student; now it’s the misbehaving student and the parents against me!”

Accountability is a key part of any coping plan. You must be careful, however, and not confuse accountability with self-blame. If you’re like many people, you might automatically assume it means, “taking responsibility for what happened.” Not always. Accountability means, “recognizing that you are responsible for evaluating your role in the event.” In many cases, you must choose not to blame yourself, not to form a pity parade, and not to make it all about you as a sufferer. When coping with stress, accountability means empowering yourself to choose how best to evaluate your stressful experience, and how best to resolve the subsequent emotions you feel.

Look again at the examples above. In all three cases, the students are clearly responsible for their actions. Taking money with the intention of paying it back is still stealing and shows a lack of conscience; being drunk is no excuse for assaulting a police officer, and indicates that one may have a drinking problem; attacking and severely injuring someone simply because she is flirting with your boyfriend shows a lack of impulse control. In each case, if the students appropriately evaluated their behavior, they would have discovered personality and behavioral issues they should address.

Also, in the examples, notice how the parents get in the way and prevent some self-discovery by their kids; they enable and justify their kids’ behavior by defending them. The parents’ actions almost guarantee that each student will not appropriately evaluate their (the student’s) role in the situation. So, what’s with the parents? A good possibility is that they fear looking like they are ineffective and failures as agents of childrearing. They are unable to say that their kid is accountable because it’s an admission that, “I, too, am accountable because I did a lousy job of raising this person to be a responsible adult.” What we have, therefore, is a situation where both parents and child are at fault, but neither is willing to face that fact.

These examples illustrate a fundamental problem facing society today, a problem alluded to by the Student Life Officer: More and more parents today seem to feel that only they are capable of deciding what’s good for their kids. Many of today’s parents are defensive when teachers, police, and other agents in society try to enforce rules of behavior; parents feel that’s an intrusion on parental territory—only parents can rightly determine what’s best for their child. This message is beginning to permeate society: a parent complaint to a school board can get that book banned; parents are deciding certain courses—such as, Algebra—are not needed to get a job, so school boards should remove those courses as diploma requirements; parents are micromanaging the classroom and dictating to teachers what they can teach—Florida has banned classroom instruction from elementary school through college of any topic dealing with DEI (diversity, equality, inclusion); an amendment to a Florida law said that parents should determine if their child should be promoted to 4^th grade (the amendment was eventually removed).

The sad result of these actions is that we are producing generations of kids who cannot think for themselves, who fail to acquire a social conscience that includes personal accountability, and who develop low self-esteem that makes them passive, anxiety-ridden, and dependent on others for guidance. In short, too many parents—driven by a need to protect their own fragile egos—are dumbing down their kids intellectually, emotionally, and socially.

by Amanda Green

This week we continue college student Amanda Green’s description of some of the stressors she feels contribute to mental health problems in college students.

However challenging it might seem, developing human connections is important for teenagers as they start to live away from home. Unfortunately, building physical and emotional relationships with others can damage teen stability. Take a college boy and girl who sit next to each other in Writing class, and after a few days, begin taking an interest in each other. Suddenly, their minds are consumed by possibilities. However, today even something as simple as dating is confusing. Not only is the boy no longer expected to initiate the connection, he is not even expected to limit himself to one girl, or even a girl, for that matter. With so many factors up in the air, it is no wonder that even though wanting to build a physical or romantic connection is so natural in teenagers, few of them are able to achieve it. In fact, some refuse to pursue relationships because of the stress that comes with it (which I think is part of the fun).

Then there is a related teen stressor that adults often overlook: the difficult position of having to balance fun now versus success later—a tradeoff that has been ingrained in us since our childhood. I remember the first time I declined to go to the park with my mom to walk the dog because I had an essay due. She didn’t know whether to feel proud or disappointed. Now in college, many of us feel that we have to uphold the same standard. This is fine to some extent—prioritizing school work during the week to be able to relax on the weekend can be a good thing. However, continuously turning down hanging out with friends because of looming assignments due next month takes the “work now, play later” ideal to the extreme. Some take it even further: they don’t allow themselves to go to bed until a piece of work is complete. Needless to say, sleep deprivation neither reduces stress nor allows them to produce their best work. Of course, some rebel against this prioritization and preparation and prefer to procrastinate work every week until Sunday night. What some don’t realize is that completing work does more than just free our time and allow us to participate in other activities later. Having work looming over us is very mentally draining and does not let us fully participate in the present moment.

With the rise of technology and social media, distractors are arguably more powerful than in the olden days. However, even older generations experienced this same struggle. Even if the pull away from their work came from going to the movies rather than Netflix, the concept is the same. Teens are constantly stressed by getting distracted from work and feeling guilty for it. Think about it: Aesop’s story of the Hardworking Ant and the Lazy Grasshopper is as old as the sun. Generations have long been raised and guilt-tripped by the very same words.

However, there are still some obvious generational differences. One of the biggest mismatches between today’s generations and prior ones is the number of opportunities available. When my parents were growing up, it was the standard to attend the local state school until the end of high school and then pick a university in the region, at most one or two hours away from home. Now, at least considering an out-of-state college, if not an international school, has become the norm. While this explosion of possibilities can really maximize individual potential, it can quickly become overwhelming. Decision fatigue is real. When faced with so many schools to pick from, so many majors to pursue, and within that, a myriad of classes to attend, it is no wonder that registration week is universally acknowledged to be one of the most stressful times of the semester. For some, it is even more stressful than finals week. At least, for exams, the instructions are clear: there is nothing to choose, except for a seat and a pencil. 

When considering the pressures of today’s day and age, namely indecisiveness, uncertainty, reputation and finding balance, it strikes me that these stressors are more or less the same as they have always been. In fact, it is unfair to even say that they affect only teenagers: adults also experience similar emotional strain. One thing is sure: teenagers these days carry around with them a whole lot of baggage. This becomes most obvious during long nighttime walks and inebriated conversations—almost everyone seems to have some internalized tension or trauma to unpack. On our shoulders sit a strange mixture of unanswered questions, internal conflicts and unprocessed feelings, but the steps we must take to move forward are unclear.

However, at the very least, teens should try and resist the urge to label themselves as victims of circumstances. The causes for adolescent anxiety and depression are not external but internal. In other words, teens are not so much affected by the world around them as they think. Some details of the world might have changed, yes, but teenagers are the same as they’ve always been.

As a teenager in college, I believe that the stress that comes with growing up is normal, but we’ve just become too sensitive to it. We should expect ourselves to feel stressed in uncertain situations. We should expect to feel insecure about ourselves. How could we expect otherwise, when we don’t yet know who we’ll grow up to be? At the end of the day, all teenagers want is to grow up to be somebody—and to enjoy the process. If we accept that the pressures and stressors of this generation are to some extent inevitable, then it becomes clear that the best we can do is live with them. Only then will growing up begin to feel a little easier.

by Amanda Green

[NOTE: Mental Health America reports that over 10% of our youth experience levels of mental-health problems—such as depression—that impair their ability to function at school. Amanda Green is a college student who has graciously agreed to share her views on the stressors that impact college students, and that no doubt contribute to mental health problems. Amanda’s post will be in two parts, Part I this week and Part II next week.]

Recent years have seen a mental health epidemic that disproportionately affects the younger generations, and is highly contagious. According to the World Health Organization, one in seven adolescents experiences a mental disorder. These rates are as high as we’ve ever seen—soon, our workforce will start to feel the consequences. On the other hand, standard of living has been increasing steadily in the past few decades. Anyone who grew up in the depression will tell you that youngsters have it so much better than they did. Nevertheless, depression, anxiety and all their disordered sisters persist to plague children as young as ten these days. Children used to carry with them only a baseball and glove to play with, and their bookbag. Now, they carry heavy burdens of ill-processed feelings. What happened that triggered this change? Is life harder for teenagers nowadays, or are there other factors contributing to this steep decline in adolescent mental health?

Seventeen-year-old Joshua just received an acceptance letter from his top choice for college, one of the best schools in the South. However, he is not happy. All his friends will be going to the state school nearby and he feels conflicted. Should he follow his friends or his dreams? What if his school is not all he expects it to be? Now in senior year, he finally has a stable friend group. It didn’t used to be this way. In fact, becoming part of this group had been difficult enough. Would he have to go through all of it again in college—awkward conversations, lunches alone in the common room, being asked to find a lab partner in Chemistry class and having no one to turn to?

Some may label Joshua an introvert, or having social anxiety, but in reality his doubts and fears are not a disorder—they are normal. Even as we live in a society as modernized and civilized as ours, we are still only primates. And our natural response is not always a condition that must be cured. In fact, we should expect and even hope ourselves to enter into a state of stress when we are faced with uncertainty. Evolutionarily, this makes sense. Our ancestors wouldn’t have lasted long if they had fearlessly entered any uncertain situation with little regard to consequences. Our fight or flight is triggered to save our lives. Suppressing these instincts won’t do us any good. Does this mean that teenagers should stop taking anxiety medication? Not exactly. If these feelings of stress are determined by professionals to be so frequent or so intense that they are unmanageable, then medication may be appropriate. However, we should focus on pinpointing the causes for adolescent anxiety and stress to try and lessen their effects, rather than put children on medication as soon as they start to show symptoms. After all, those symptoms may be normal responses to change.

We are also faced with another question: what are the causes of teenage anxiety and depression? Some blame technology; some blame unrealistic beauty standards; some blame the stars and astrological signs; some blame Donald Trump. While the specific situations that cause stress in adolescents may have evolved with time, I believe the underlying factors that contribute to these feelings are universal and have affected generations long before ours. In other words, times have changed, but teenagers haven’t. Humans have always sought to be accepted by others, a desire found across cultures, social circles, and even in species that have lower cognitive abilities than humans. However, this desire can work against us, for it can quickly become obsessive and cloud our other aims. For instance, teenage college students may neglect class work to go out at night and be part of a lively social circle, which can impact academic performance. Additionally, many teen choices are affected by their concern with how others perceive them.

A concern with social acceptance can damage teenagers’ mental health for two reasons: First they sometimes deny their nature in an effort to fit in, such as by going to parties instead of staying home. Not only can this choice become mentally draining, it can also strip them of their identity because they live for other people rather than themselves. Second, trying to fit in is an endless race. And it is exhausting. As our circumstances and social circles shift, we so often find ourselves having to start rebuilding our reputation anew. Take college, for example, where teenagers take new classes every semester. To become comfortable in every class took some effort in the first place. As they near the start of the Spring semester, they know they’ll have to do it all over again. (To be continued next week.)

Welcome to 2024! I’m willing to bet that this year will be filled with news reports that have the potential to be very upsetting for many people. Can disturbing news be so upsetting that it actually traumatizes people and causes significant increases in stress levels? What about adult TV viewers? Can their stress levels be affected by the saturation TV coverage of real events on 24/7 news networks like CNN, FOX, and MSNBC? Regularly, we see in-depth coverage of mass shootings, horrible scenes of combat carnage and destruction, and gut-wrenching interviews with survivors of trauma. This year, of course, will also include election issues that have the potential to be exceptionally stressful for viewers. At a time when statistics show an alarming increase in mental-health problems, the question arises: “Can frequent depictions of war, murder, and political mayhem on TV traumatize the viewer to the point that psychological problems develop?”

            In 2001, Propper and her associates were teaching a course on sleep and dreaming at a college in the Boston area. The course was already underway, and students had begun recording and documenting their dreams, when the events of 9/11 unfolded. Thus, the researchers had an opportunity to assess trauma themes in dreams both before and after 9/11, and to relate them to amount of TV viewing of the 9/11 coverage.

            Analysis of students dreams before and after 9/11 demonstrated not only that post-9/11 dreams changed significantly compared to pre-9/11 dreams, but also that the dreams could be linked to amount of TV viewing of the horrific events. After 9/11, dreams contained more threat and danger themes and images, and more negative emotions expressed. These themes, images, and emotions tended to increase as the amount of time watching TV coverage increased. Thus, to the extent that dreaming can reflect efforts to process and resolve trauma and conflict, the authors concluded that extensive viewing of TV coverage of the 9/11 events served to increase trauma and conflict in viewers. It is also of particular interest to note that the students who spent more time talking with friends and relatives about the events of 9/11 did not show these threatening themes and negative emotions in their dreams. This finding is consistent with evidence from clinical psychology showing the therapeutic effects of talking with significant others following a personal trauma.

   Propper and her associates believe their results show how media coverage of an event can negatively affect the emotional well-being of viewers. Reporting an event is one thing; saturating coverage with repeated replays over an extended period is quite another. Furthermore, if that coverage makes talking with friends and relatives less likely, then the negative effects of the saturation coverage are greatly compounded.

            You might ask, “Should I switch channels when coverage of horrific events is on?” No, at least not all the time. That would be avoidance of facing uncomfortable aspects of reality. Such avoidance on a regular basis would help make you unable to process and cope with troubling realities. Face those realities, but make sure you talk them over with others to help you manage your coping efforts.

            Avoiding troubling TV political news, of course, can be easy: Just watch the channel that reflects your beliefs. However, would that selectivity also be an example of avoiding facing uncomfortable aspects of reality? Yes, it would, and in fact it could be more psychologically damaging than simply avoiding all political news. Selectivity of channels would not only allow you to avoid facing messages you dislike, but also would provide you with justifications for doing so. Like total avoidance, adhering to news outlets on a regular basis that support your beliefs and help you both avoid and degrade the unpleasant, will likely obstruct your ability to process, evaluate, and cope with troubling information. Do not be afraid, therefore, to familiarize yourself with positions that run counter to your opinions. Doing will help you accept reality and to evaluate information logically and calmly.

            TV coverage of horrendous events, of course, is only one potential source of stress to a consumer. How about newspapers and magazines? The January 22^nd issue of Time has a section called, “The Top Risks of 2024.” Included are warnings that: (1) political dysfunction in the US might worsen; (2) the Middle East war could widen and pose risks to global stability; (3) NATO could be drawn into the Ukrainian war; (4) current weather patterns can have negative consequences for world agriculture, disease, energy, and political stability; (5) dictators may continue to upset efforts at cooperation and solidarity among stable nations around the world. Had enough? There are more but you get the idea—this is frightening stuff.

   Based on the possibility of these risks becoming reality, would it be reasonable to predict that mental health problems in America will continue to increase; that the use of recreational mind-altering drugs like alcohol and marijuana will surge; and that hostile and aggressive actions among people will proliferate? Maybe so. However, you need not succumb to excessive anxiety about these possibilities. You can arm yourself against emotional upheaval by exercising and living a fairly healthy lifestyle; by educating—not indoctrinating—yourself with verifiable facts; by having healthy, adult, rational interactions with others; by empathizing and understanding the needs of others; by serving those in need; by enjoying nature—hearing the birds chirp, smelling the vegetation, seeing the vast array of plant colors, and basking in the warmth of the sun. Psychological research documents the beneficial effects of these coping tools that are all around you, tools that we know can combat anxiety, depression, and other debilitating feelings. Use them.