Be realistic about the stress in your life. Are you ruled by irrational thoughts, such as, “I must be perfect and succeed in everything I do,” or, “I am a worthless person”? A more realistic thought would be, “If I fail, I will examine what I did wrong and take steps to correct my mistake, so I will be less likely to fail the next time.”
Think about it. Is it really so hard to put things in a realistic perspective by balancing those events beyond your control with those you can control? If you’re stressed about driving to a meeting across town, how difficult can it be to say, “I have no control over how bad the traffic will be, but I can leave early so heavy traffic will not make me late. I can also map out alternative routes in advance in case traffic backs up.”
“The boss gave the project to my colleague. She obviously thinks I’m incompetent.”
Irrational thinking can impair day-to-day functioning as your life becomes organized around the central themes of those thoughts. Such thoughts are demoralizing, interfere with effective coping, and make you vulnerable to psychological dysfunctions like Personality Disorders, Depression, and, very frequently, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. In this last condition your mind entertains a big package of irrational thoughts, and you are constantly adding thoughts to the box.
When you are stressed and feeling overwhelmed, you have to guard against feeling sorry for yourself and asking others to join in your pity parade. There are always alternative proactive actions you can take. Instead of being dominated by irrational, self-serving thoughts, find those realistic actions that will serve you well. The first step in the process is to become aware of your irrational thoughts. Write them down when they occur. Enlist the help of friends, acquaintances, and even professionals to help you identify them. In this way, you will be able to focus more on rational courses of action to help you cope with the everyday challenges you face. There is never any guarantee you will succeed. But by focusing on positive actions, at least you are teaching yourself to persevere even when frustrated; you are showing yourself that you are self-sufficient enough to engage in some proactive actions; and you are doing things that give you a chance to feel good about yourself. Such positive possibilities certainly outweigh marching in your personal pity parade.
Psychology and Stress 