Are you an adolescent teen? Are you stuck with loneliness, mood swings, sleep disturbances, anxiety, poor school performance, low confidence and self-esteem, vulnerability to stress, peer conflict, and family disruptions? Have you been captured in the phony, manipulative worlds of Kik, TikTok, Discord, Snapchat, and Reddit? In your mind, is your world a pretty negative place, frustrating your search for independence and control? If so, it’s not surprising; after all, our 21st century world presents a huge and varied frontal attack that brings coping challenges from multiple directions. Family disruptions are of particular importance because psychologists know that a solid, stable relationship with parents is the first line of defense for you to navigate the confusing biological, cognitive, and emotional swings that go along with adolescence.
So, where do you find help for your mental well-being? Do you fix your eyes on that glowing screen as you dig into the internet looking for something, anything, that will give your life meaning? That screen is entertaining and informative, but it’s also full of fake stuff, especially the stuff that talks about your mind. Nor is the answer to your problems found in all those “wellness” exercises that are plentiful on various media formats. While things like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and visualization techniques are helpful in the moment, they do not get to the root of mental coping issues. Also, many media sources encourage you to focus on self-centered, egotistical traits like physical beauty and perfection as providing the pathway to well-being and happiness. Forget it; they’re all a dead-end streets.
The fact is, help for mental and psychological well-being is found in actions that solve problems. One of the best actions is communication with others, but not the fake interactions with some unknown stranger online who is probably looking to groom you for self-sabotaging actions. No. We mean respectful, caring, face-to-face communication with trusted others—especially adults—who can instill you with the confidence needed to evaluate your issues. What follows from that kind of communication is Empathy. There is nothing more uplifting than realizing that others have the same problems and need understanding, too. The development of empathy is essential to healthy coping with stress.
What follows from empathy is Service to Others, which has enormous healing properties. Few scenes are more tragic than a lonely, confused, dejected person of any age locked onto their computer screen desperately seeking happiness and validity for being, but finding instead “advice” that leads them farther into a black hole of despondency, misery, and hopelessness. Service to others allows you to break from this technological spell of deprivation, get “outside” of yourself, and act to help others in need. What follows from service to others is a discovery of your values. Effective coping cannot continue without a set of values to guide your actions; values give purpose and meaning to your actions. What follows from values is contentment, satisfaction, self-discovery, and happiness at your place in life. Happiness cannot be sought; it materializes from values-laden actions.
It all begins with actions. A basic tenet of psychology is that when you see yourself engaging in an activity, you incorporate that activity, and its accompanying values, into your self-concept. When you serve others with purpose, meaning, and contentment, you will endow your self-concept with purpose, meaning, and contentment, and arm yourself to cope successfully with the stressors and challenges that face you. Keep that fundamental principle in mind next time you struggle with yourself.
Psychology and Stress 