Eye Contact

A great step in developing personal empowerment is to look others in the eye when talking to them, not in some threatening way, but in a way that signals confidence and poise. This ability is especially important when dealing with bosses at work, when interviewing for a job, with vendors you are considering hiring—in any situation you need to convey that you are serious, that you mean business, and that you are strong, assertive, and capable. My students and I have published several studies strongly suggesting that maintaining eye contact influences how we judge others. In these studies, we produced videotapes where a model in the tape listened to some instructions about a task to complete. The instructions lasted 60 seconds. In one tape, according to a pre-determined pattern, the model looked directly at the instructor for a total of 50 seconds; in another tape, the eye contact was maintained for 25 seconds; and in a third tape, the eye contact occurred only for 5 seconds.

The tapes were shown to college students who were asked to “judge” the model in the tape on a variety of personality dimensions. The same pattern of results occurred over several studies using different participants: as eye contact increased, the model was judged to (a) be more success oriented, (b) to have a more dominant, independent, and assertive personality, (c) to be more relaxed, less anxious, in-control types, and (d) to have higher self-esteem.

The “look ‘em in the eye” advice appears good, and a useful strategy for increasing the odds that you will be judged favorably by someone else. But remember—the studies described above took place in very specific circumstances and might not apply to all situations. One situation that comes to mind would be walking down a city street and approaching a group of, shall we say, threatening-looking young men. In this case, eye fixations may be interpreted as a threat. But a job interview? Cocktail party? Discussing your ideas for improving something with your boss? Look ‘em in the eye!