The Cadet Honor Code at the United States Military Academy says, “A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.” The Code at the Air Force Academy says, “We will not lie, steal or cheat, nor tolerate among us anyone who does. Furthermore, I resolve to do my duty and to live honorably (so help me God).” The Honor concept at the United States Naval Academy is more detailed: “Midshipmen are persons of integrity: They tell the truth and ensure that the truth is known. They do not lie. They embrace fairness in all actions. They ensure that work submitted as their own is their own, and that assistance received from any source is authorized and properly documented. They do not cheat. They respect the property of others and ensure that others are able to benefit from the use of their own property. They do not steal.”
Honor plays a large role in the mission of our military academies. But honor should also be an integral part of your daily living because guiding your actions with a personal code of honorable and ethical principles—I do this because it is the right thing to do and will benefit not only myself but also others—will help you to live your life with yourself and with others in a way that helps you to avoid narcissism and self-serving actions. These principles will allow you to look in the mirror with satisfaction at the end of each day and say, “I did OK today.”
To conduct a critical examination of your coping honor, here are some basic questions – you might ask yourself on a regular basis:
“Do I try to deceive and manipulate others for my own selfish ends?”
“Do I care when I see others being deceived?”
“Are my actions based on selfish entitlement to gain unfair advantage of others?”
“Am I able to understand how others feel when they are troubled?”
“When I consider my actions toward others, do I ask myself how I would feel if I were at the receiving end of those actions?”
Keep in mind that you also have a right to challenge others so you can vaccinate yourself against excessive dependency on them. Thus, you should also ask honor questions about actions others direct at you:
“Do others try to deceive and manipulate me for their betterment?”
“Do others seem to care about my feelings?”
“Are others’ actions based on selfish entitlement to gain unfair advantage over me?”
“The things others ask of me–how would they feel if I asked the same of them?”
Posing such questions can engage you in the critical thinking required for resisting excessive dependence on others, and facilitating the development of honorable coping.
Psychology and Stress 