Do you let trivial things add to your stress? For instance, when greeting someone do you worry about offending them if you say, “Merry Christmas,” as opposed to “Happy holidays”? Or, if you’re Jewish, are you offended if someone says “Merry Christmas” to you? Complaints about so-called politically-correct (PC) greetings increase around holiday time. Those who whine about this issue seem to forget that PC language boils down to courtesy, respect, and empathy for others who have a perspective different from theirs. The strength of this self-serving bias varies from person to person, and even within ourselves at different times. Any way you look at it, however, the bias is there and it has the potential to make certain language distasteful to those who refuse to accept that there’s a world out there beyond their personal space; and that bias adds stress.
Here’s a coping thought: acknowledge the importance of others. Ask yourself, “What determines how others remember me?” The answer is, “People remember how you make them feel.” With that thought in mind, what sort of daily legacy do you want to leave? Do you want people to remember you as someone who made them feel undervalued and inferior to you earlier that day? Or, do you want them to remember you as someone who made them feel good because you understand and respect their perspective?
Why not adopt a little humility, and decide that life is not all about you? Why not take the time to make others feel worthy of your respect? Doing so will remove concern from your mind about frivolous, nonsensical things like PC language. You will feel more empowered and independent; you will feel more productive; and those feelings will bring you more personal satisfaction. Most important, you will have more pleasant interactions with others.
I knew a colleague who was one of those guys who greeted life each day with a smile. He was always ready to lend a helping hand and believed in teamwork. He never took himself too seriously, and loved to defuse conflict with a joke or light-hearted comment. I remember a time during the Christmas holiday when he was exiting the building and passed an employee he didn’t know. He said with a big smile, “Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, or bah humbug. Choose your preference!” We all laughed heartily and the employee said, “Right back at you!” And we all went our way with a smile.
But what if things go a little differently? There’s never a guarantee that any social interaction will be pleasant. What if the employee says something like, “I don’t think that’s funny at all. You know some people don’t like to be reminded about holidays.” How do you handle situations like this? Well, remember that you have no control over how others will react. Maybe they associate Christmas with personal loss; maybe they harbor unresolved anger; maybe they want to be left alone. There are a host of possible reasons for a negative reaction. What can you do? How about a quick apology—“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend.”—and move on. It’s a trivial matter and not worth adding to your stress levels.
Psychology and Stress 