We all hear people say, “If I win the lottery, I will be rich and happy!” Rich, maybe, happy, maybe not! Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert notes that in one study, a year after winning the lottery, winners were less happy than were paraplegics one year after their accident. How can that be? Winning the lottery looks good and being confined to a wheelchair looks bad. For the people who live in those circumstances, however, their current estimates of happiness are seen in comparison to their earlier life and to the anticipated future. The lottery winners have learned that the anticipated happiness of winning the lottery was unrealistic; the paraplegics have learned that the challenges imposed by the injury need not be overwhelming or impossible. In both cases it was not the outcome (good luck vs. severe injury) that determined their state of happiness; rather, it was their state of mind that initially had distorted their reality. Overnight wealth can be squandered and lead to long-term problems; paraplegics can choose to find meaning and purpose in their lives through spiritual, artistic, athletic, and other types of pursuits.
Imagine a politician telling you something over and over and over. If you have some measure of respect for that politician, you might eventually believe what he or she is telling you, even when there is no objective, reliable evidence in favor of the statement. Pure repetition distorts your perception of reality and you accept a baseless assertion as true. Imagine that a highway in your town is finally widened thanks to receiving federal funds. Your local Congressional representative is at the dedication, helping to cut the ribbon opening the highway. You are pleased because you voted for that rep. You ignore the newspaper columnist who reminds readers that your rep voted not to approve the bill providing highway funds to towns like yours across the nation. You not only ignore the truth, but you also distort your perception—my rep brought those funds to our town, and that makes me happy because I voted for that rep.
“OK,” you might reply, “but what does all this have to do with finding happiness? What’s wrong with wanting to be happy?” Nothing is wrong with wanting to be happy, but in our example above, your happiness is fake, based on a distortion of the truth. Another problem with the happiness search is that people keep looking for it in material things—winning the lottery, getting the promotion, taking a vacation, changing jobs. Happiness does come with acquiring certain things, but it is often temporary happiness and distorts reality. What’s more tragic than a lonely, confused, dejected person of any age locked onto their computer screen desperately seeking happiness by getting something concrete, but finding instead “advice” that leads them further into a black hole of despondency, misery, and hopelessness all based on distortions of reality? Happiness should not be sought in such ways; it must result from activities you voluntarily undertake. Such actions will keep you based in reality, and help happiness emerge in your experience. Action-based happiness is long-lasting because it comes from living a life based on personal values, a life with meaning, compassion, integrity, adaptability, contentment, and purpose—in short, a life anchored in sensitivity to the needs of others.
Psychology and Stress 