Shakespeare said it succinctly in Hamlet, when he had Queen Gertrude comment on the insincerity of a character in a play: “The lady doth protest too much.” The Queen is saying that the assertions of faithfulness and love from a character are so extreme and persistent that the Queen does not believe they are true; the protesting character probably believes the opposite of what she is saying. In modern psychology, that’s exactly what the ego defense mechanism “reaction formation” means: Behaving outwardly and excessively—Shakespeare’s “too much” protesting—the opposite of how you feel inside, in order to hide from others and, more importantly, from yourself, those inner feelings. The guilty one yells, “I am innocent” the loudest; the sinner yells, “I am pure and without sin” the loudest.
Marlee and Terri work in the same division of a company, and they have both been assigned to a project team to investigate ways to improve worker morale and productivity. Marlee came up with a plan and presented it to the team by email. Terri has always been jealous of Marlee because her competence and popularity taps into Terri’s inner insecurities based on low self-esteem, self-doubts, and low confidence. Terri writes an extreme reply to the team that lashes into Marlee’s proposal, going so far as to say that the proposal violated company protocol and threatened the cohesiveness of the team. Shocked, Marlee asks Terri if she would state specific reasons for her accusations. Terri replies only to Marlee, continuing the “protest too much” reaction that characterizes reaction formation: “Since you’ve continued to behave poorly, I’ve removed you from the email thread so that the rest of us can have a productive conversation. I’m disappointed in your behavior and it’s shameful that a colleague would conduct herself in this manner. Your deliberate misreading of company policies is intellectually dishonest, and you know it. And I certainly think using the company email to treat me so rudely and disrespectfully shows your arrogance and selfishness. The company should remove your email privileges. I can only hope that you do not demean me and our other team members in public, although I expect no less given your hostile and hurtful nature toward me.” Marlee shared the email with the rest of the project team, and they asked their company supervisor to remove Terri from the project. He did so. Terri’s emails, excessively loud in their protest, are model examples of reaction formation.
George is 38 and shorter than average, which may have been one reason he was often bullied in high school. College went OK, and after graduation he landed a job in a brokerage firm. Even though his performance was decent, he was insecure and lacked self-esteem and confidence. At work he kept a low profile so he wouldn’t stick out. He stayed in his safe zone to avoid facing his insecurities. One day a colleague said, “Come on, George, get out of that shell. You know the market but you never put that knowledge into action. Go for it! Take some risks!”
George did just that and luck was on his side. His investment gamble brought millions into the firm almost overnight, and he went from a drone to a shining star. His whole demeaner changed. He pranced around work like the head rooster in the farm yard. He boasted about his prowess and criticized his colleagues often. He wore the best clothes, bought a super expensive car, and moved to an apartment well beyond his means. He became an arrogant snob who constantly acted like he was better than everyone. Is George acting so important a little extreme? Is he hiding his true feelings about himself? Shakespeare’s Queen Gertrude might have said, “He struts around too much!”
George’s behavior became extreme, and the fact that he continued to broadcast his successes so loudly showed that he was trying to avoid facing something from others and from himself: inside, he remained insecure and afraid of failure. His extreme overt displays of confidence were reaction formation smoke screens—ego defenses—designed to hide those fears. George’s actions became extreme, beyond showing moderate self-confidence. His displays of competence and independence became so extreme, so intense, and so chronic, they betrayed in him a desperate attempt to hide his anxieties and weaknesses from others, and especially from himself.
When used as a defense mechanism, reaction formation—habitually, and with great exaggeration, overtly acting the opposite of how you feel on the inside—is, like all ego defenses, a form of denial. George goes by a mirror and sees an immaculately-dressed man smoking a king-sized cigar. Like Terri, that vision allows George to deny what is truly inside: a frightened, insecure wimp who finds the slightest hint of failure a dire threat to psychological stability.
Psychology and Stress 