Back in the day when going online and surfing the net was a novelty, I remember reading research in a psychology journal that showed a positive relationship in teenagers between going online and depression. Kids who spent a lot of time online showed higher depression scores. The interpretation, of course, was that whether time on the internet was causing depression problems, or vice-versa, it was clear that going online sacrificed valuable social interaction with others. So, 40 years ago, right out of the psychology gate, going online excessively was seen as harmful.
Fast forward to the present. Current research shows that online use is still associated with mental issues; research also shows, however, that reaching out to others through social media can be a source of emotional support to troubled people. Years ago, troubled folks ruminating at 2am on their misery could only reach for the phone and hope they could rouse a friend to chat. Today, of course, they can post a message online, “Anyone out there who can talk to me? I’m really feeling down and could use some support.”
Sure, some nutcase could respond and add to the problem, plus cases of cyber-bullying are well-known. In spite of those risks, the potential of social media for providing emotional comfort is well-documented, and many mental-health professionals believe that the positive possibilities from using social media can outweigh the risk of making a problem worse. The key, of course, is how the platform is used, knowing how to be on guard, and being able to terminate a dangerous contact immediately.
There’s a coping lesson in all this: One size seldom fits all. There’s nothing inherently good or bad about going online to seek some comfort; social media can be comforting and it can be damaging. Just because you know someone who was emotionally ravaged by some online exchanges does not mean that will happen to you. Your friend’s poison could be your salvation.
The problem is, when people are troubled they want to believe that one size fits all, that what worked for Jennifer or Ken will work for them. And that is the danger you must guard against: When looking for help to develop effective coping strategies, you must not focus on the method; you must focus on whether the method brings out appropriate reactions from you. It’s no different than taking a prescription. A particular drug may work wonders for your friend, but produce terrible side-effects in you. Friend’s medicine, your poison.
One final thought: Whether going online or seeking other methods to obtain coping help, there is no magical solution, no panacea for your issues. You must do the work. Too many people reach out to others for help, but with the expectation that others will wave some wand and all will be OK. Coping just doesn’t work that way. Do you want better results from your coping efforts? Then be prepared to work for them.
Psychology and Stress 