Last week we talked about how some people need to be perfect in everything they do. Unfortunately, this tendency can lead to a lot of stress. We noted what a student, Zhao, does to deal with his perfectionistic needs and, in the process, reduce his stress. Zhao says, “I must be perfect when I have an assignment. I know that, but use it to make me focus on the assignment. I outline the important parts of the assignment and make sure I do not overlook any of them. Every part gets my attention—in time. If I reach a block, I get information I need to remove the block no matter how long it takes. I must solve the block or I am not moving forward, and if I am not moving forward, I am not going to be perfect.” Zhao’s approach requires a lot of mental discipline, something most of us do not have. In this second discussion, we describe another approach to dealing with perfection, one that requires only that you listen to the advice of another.
Many years ago, I (CB) was one of several doctoral students doing research in the experimental psychology lab at Syracuse University. We also had a post-doctoral student, Anita (not her real name), working with the Director of the lab. Anita had a gift for designing elegant studies; by elegant I mean studies that had several control groups—in addition to the main treatment group—that gave her great confidence in interpreting the results of the study. For instance, one day I was discussing with her the results of one of her studies, and her interpretation of them. I said, “You know, you could interpret your results differently as showing….” “Oh, no,” she replied, “that wouldn’t work. If that interpretation were true, control group B would have behaved differently.” I suddenly realized she was correct, and said, “Amazing! With those three control groups, there’s really no way to interpret the results other than the one you provide, is there?” Smiling, Anita said, “Not that I can see.”
Anita did, however, did have a shortcoming: She was always hesitant to submit her work for publication. She would say, “This study doesn’t give a complete picture. I need to do a follow-up to get it perfect.” In one instance she was designing her third follow-up to two previous incredibly good studies, seeking a higher level of perfection before having the confidence to submit her work for publication. That’s when the Director stepped in. He reminded Anita that an important part of science was communication with other researchers, and sharing data with them. That process allows others to contribute what is often a new perspective and a new way of looking at things. He knew that being excessively perfectionistic was Anita’s problem, and he struck right at it, telling her that failing to publish her work was actually making it less perfect. The next day Anita had a manuscript ready for submission.
The point here should be obvious: If you feel your work must be perfect, and as a result you’re failing to get things done in a timely manner, get a reality check on your work from someone you know, respect, and trust, and someone who is capable of evaluating the work you have already done. In other words, don’t let yourself be the final judge of the quality of your work. In Anita’s case, her quest for perfection was making her excessively harsh and unrealistic about the quality of what she had done; she needed to get another evaluation, by someone she trusted and respected, and who was capable of giving a knowledgeable evaluation.
Psychology and Stress 