It’s amazing how people let the most trivial things bother them and add to their stress. For instance, on the last day of work before the Christmas holiday, Rachel passed someone in the hallway. She didn’t even know this colleague who said to her, “Merry Christmas.” Rachel replied, “I’m not a Christian, so I don’t celebrate that stuff. I also think Christmas is a ridiculous time when stores gouge the public with their overpriced merchandise. So, spare me the Merry Christmas crap. I find it offensive.”
Complaints about politically-correct (PC) language increase around holiday time. You know, the “happy holidays” vs. “Merry Christmas” comment. Those who whine about this issue seem to forget that PC language boils down to courtesy, respect, and empathy for others who have a perspective different from theirs. Christmas 2017 I remember passing a couple of old guys in the grocery store, and heard one of them say, “Now that he’s president, I can say Merry Christmas if I want. No more of this happy holiday garbage. If they’re Jewish and don’t like Merry Christmas, tough!”
To one degree or another, we all see ourselves as the most important ingredient in our life recipe. The strength of this self-serving bias varies from person to person, and even within ourselves at different times. Any way you look at it, however, the bias is there and it has the potential to make certain language distasteful to those who refuse to accept that there’s a world out there beyond their personal space.
Being conflicted about using Christmas language can be a particular source of stress in interpersonal relations. Witness Rachel and her merry co-worker. And the grocery store guy seems to want to shove his Christmas down Jews’ throats. Here’s a coping thought: Let’s soften our life recipe to acknowledge the importance of ingredients other than ourselves. Let’s ask ourselves, “What determines how others remember me?” The answer is, “People remember how you make them feel.” With that thought in mind, what sort of daily legacy do you want to leave? Do you want people to remember you as someone who made them feel undervalued and inferior to you earlier that day? Or, do you want them to remember you as someone who made them feel good because you seemed to understand and respect their perspective?
Why not adopt a little humility, and decide that life is not all about you? Why not take the time to make others feel worthy of your respect? Doing so will remove concern from your mind about frivolous, nonsensical things like PC language. You will feel more empowered and independent; you will feel more productive; and those feelings will bring you more personal satisfaction. Most important, you’ll have more pleasant interactions with others.
Danny is one of those guys who greets life each day with a smile. His co-workers love him because he’s always ready to lend a helping hand and believes in teamwork. He doesn’t take himself too seriously, and loves to defuse conflict with a light-hearted comment. On the last day of work before the Christmas holiday, he was exiting the building and passed an employee he didn’t know. He said with a big smile, “Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, or bah humbug. Choose your preference!” His colleague laughed heartily and said, “Right back at you!” And they both went their way with a smile.
Psychology and Stress 