Sometimes you’re miserable, right? You often compare yourself to others who seem to be so much better off, so happy. “Why can’t I be happy?” you ask. Unfortunately, happiness can’t be your goal; it’s not something you find; it is something that emerges from things you do. Stop comparing yourself to others because you probably choose those who are shining examples of certain traits. There will always be those better than you, and those worse than you, so why restrict yourself to always choosing the former for comparison? Ignore those standards of beauty, skill, and perfection that so many others seem to have achieved. They haven’t. Also, understand that any criticism and rejection directed at you does not mean you are unworthy. Your critics also have issues, and they often project their issues onto you. They are the ones to blame, not yourself. They are not being honest.
Be aware of – and be wary of – the influence of online “friends.” Who influences you? Is it a flesh-and-blood real friend you trust and talk to with face-to-face, eye-to-eye contact? Or is it a distant, anonymous, virtual someone who is simply familiar to you in a chat-room or podcast? The “virtuals” can be strong influencers, but too often they are shallow, detached, uncaring, manipulative, and dangerous. Their influence is not reality-based, and it is designed to strip you of your independence.
Start communicating honestly with real-life, trusting others. You might be surprised to discover that they have many of the concerns and doubts that you do. Communicate with those real, genuine people who are honest with themselves and with you. The result will be that you will provide them with reassurance about their worthiness, and receive support for your own worthiness in return. Above all, remember: You are defined by your actions in the real world.
Psychology and Stress 