It’s been about 5 years since the Boy Scouts of America announced they would drop the word “Boy” from its name, and welcome girls as Scouts. The reaction from extreme conservatives was predictable: Boy Scouts is run by liberals who want to convert men into feckless weaklings; women are doing better than men with more attending college and becoming doctors because liberals are stripping men of their masculinity. The reality is, the future scares these extremists and takes them out of their comfort zone. The future threatens them with increasing numbers of competent women, non-Whites, non-Christians, and non-native-born Americans. They are terrified by what Kristina Hernandez, a media consultant and freelance writer, had to say about her 7-year old daughter who joined a Cub Scout pack that previously was open only to boys: “I have watched my daughter’s confidence bloom in the short amount of time she has been a Cub Scout. She has been able to do everything the boys do, from learning how to shoot a bow and arrow, to starting a fire, to racing her own derby car, and shooting a BB gun.” Hernandez is grateful to BSA for opening their ranks. “I want my daughter to have every opportunity that boys have, to be empowered as a woman and know that she is capable of doing what boys do, but in her own, female way. Femininity or masculinity need not be lost because the Boy Scouts allows girls and changed their name.”
Hernandez’s rational, and thoughtful comments are a breath of fresh air, and based on sound psychological principles. Psychologists have long known that the key to effective coping is flexibility, which means having a wide range of options when faced with challenges. The modern woman has the traditional feminine traits, and has no problem raising children, cleaning house, or cooking; but if the situation requires her to be assertive, competitive, and forceful, she can do so without feeling less of a woman. By the same token, most men today can stand their ground firmly and decisively, and initiate forceful action; but many are also comfortable showing emotion and sensitivity, changing a diaper, and supporting their spouse’s career without any threat to their manhood. The breadth of traits shown by today’s women and men makes them far better able to cope with life compared to those who are secure only in traditional roles.
The desire to bring back mid-20th century attitudes about how men and women should behave will render many young folks psychologically weakened and unable to cope with future stressors. The result will be psychological sabotaging of both themselves and of larger society. Effectively coping with stress requires rejection of rigid extremes, and acceptance of flexibility in your thinking and attitudes. You can cope best when you are comfortable confronting a wide range of situational demands, and being strengthened by values, morality, and honor. Fortunately, we see almost daily – whether it be the crusades of students tired of being shot at, athletes tired of being sexually abused, or women tired of being subjugated to the whims of powerful men – positive movements based on constructive – not destructive – coping with the demands of reality. Constructive coping means choosing not to avoid, distort, or deny the realities of challenges, but choosing instead to confront, manage, and survive those realities. In your own life, choose well and you will live a more satisfying life.
Psychology and Stress 