Young people are showing increases in mental and behavioral health problems: loneliness, mood swings, sleep disturbances, anxiety, poor school performance, low confidence and self-esteem, vulnerability to stress, peer-interpersonal disturbances, and family disruptions often lead the list. That last item is of particular importance because psychologists know that a solid, stable relationship with parents is the first line of defense for teens in navigating the confusing biological, cognitive, and emotional swings that go along with adolescence. Unfortunately, for many teens, their parents or friends might also be victims of disturbances to mental well-being. Our early 21st century world presents a huge and varied frontal attack of stress on the minds and bodies of adults; teens are not the only ones presented with coping challenges from multiple directions.
So how do we help teens – and adults – with their mental well-being? One thing for sure, the answer is not found in the myriad of “wellness” exercises that are plentiful on various media formats. While things like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and visualization techniques are helpful in the moment, they do not get to the root – the systemic formation – of the mental health issues facing victims of all ages. Also problematic is the fact that media sources entrap teens to focus on self-centered, egotistical traits like physical beauty and perfection as providing the pathway to well-being and happiness. What is needed are more fundamental problem-solving approaches like the following: (1) Communication with others. Victims need to hear and understand that what seems to be criticism and rejection directed at them does not put the blame for their issues on them; the critics also have issues, and they often project their issues onto the victim. (2) What follows from communication is Empathy. There is nothing more uplifting for one suffering from mental health issues than realizing that others have the same problems and need understanding, too. The development of empathy is essential to healthy coping with stress. (3) What follows from empathy is Service to Others, which has enormous healing properties for the helper. Few scenes are more tragic than a lonely, confused, dejected person of any age locked onto their computer screen desperately seeking happiness and validity for being, but finding instead “advice” that leads them farther into a black hole of despondency, misery, and hopelessness. Service to others allows them to break from this technological spell of deprivation, get “outside” of themselves, and act to help others in need. Such actions encourage the helper to discover value in self-sacrifice, selflessness, and philanthropy. (4) What follows from service to others is a discovery of one’s values. Effective coping cannot continue without a set of values to guide one’s actions; values give purpose and meaning to those actions. (5) What follows from values is the emergence of contentment, satisfaction, self-discovery, and happiness at one’s place in life. Happiness cannot be sought; it materializes from values-laden actions.
A basic tenet of psychology is that when you see yourself engaging in an activity, you incorporate that activity, and its accompanying values, into your self-concept. When you serve others with purpose, meaning, and contentment, you will endow your self-concept with purpose, meaning, and contentment, and arm yourself to cope successfully with the stressors and challenges that face you. Keep that fundamental principle in mind next time you struggle with yourself.
Psychology and Stress 